essay, Journal, Quackademics, Science, Stupidity


November / A high school in Arizona

I carefully transcribe notes that chemistry and physics students have handed in today in response to a video on electromagnetism. The video weaves together the historical development of theory and technology  and demonstrates the effects of electrical properties. While dense with information, the presentation is organized, well-paced and thoughtful. Student work is so uniformly mediocre that surprises come from occasional competent papers; some work has the power to shock and shame.

Four classes have watched the video and handed in their notes and I’ve collected some interesting spellings: eleclisitey, electricuated, elktrick feald, eletic, elecudid, are a few of the variations on electricity, as in, “When Ben Franklin tried to cook a turkey with eleclisitey he almost elecudid himself.”

The spellings of other terms prove equally mysterious: protelter, potianal, caepgy, obvisour, pontechel, actrick, and dervasl. Even these, and mistakes like finominan, phylosifors, and poor Farid Day and Benterm Franklean would be helped greatly by a vocabulary handout, but the teacher prepared none. Torturous thought is another matter. Paper after paper is excruciatingly foreign, as if I’m in a country where only an occasional person has   learned to read and write.

“If two charges attract the it attracts but if one attracts and one sudtracts then it will attract then subtracts.”

“The sun near stops or ends in space when a object has postively changed when moist with charge.”

“When to much elet charge attack whe not engugh charge repel.”

“Radio wave ditrabute a electric rate.”

“The core of an apple and the moon had something in common.”

But this is suburban America, the majority of students are white, middle class, and doing no better than the scattering of minority students. The only satisfactory notes, written in a breezy style in a careful and readable script, was handed in by a Latino boy. A few others manage a good sentence or two, but leave me longing for something more. One set of notes is composed of a stanza of phrases that when read aloud becomes a weird cry from some poor ghost trapped on the other side of literacy.

 it drease the sun

drease it the squar of the distance

lead the star

of electic

lightining bolt what they are

electric force

push the charge closer

positivitive work can also


franklin said positively charge

natively charge repel is other

positetive charge

one object is electric charge

of course it native charge is zero

which mean a test charge

of course inside there no

feels at all but there no

potental inside depend

posivetive raise the potential

great mind of the pass

law for the electric fire

attract his other

repel his other when a

battery is equal to the voltage


Great Minds of the Pass / Farid Day and Benterm Franklean